i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
