I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
