garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
