I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
