My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
