I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
