the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
