She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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