I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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