Plan B is the new Plan A
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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