I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
