Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Acid is not a monday night drug
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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