Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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