I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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