How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
