:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
