when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
