she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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