Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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