i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
