I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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