i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
