I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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