I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
