im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
