Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
