sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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