just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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