im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
