all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
