So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
