dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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