At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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