Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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