I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
