Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
