Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Is it because I queefed?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
