Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
