how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
