me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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