i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
