; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
