so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
