he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
