I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
