school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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