Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
