just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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