have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
