just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
