the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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